Swishing

Swishing! What the eff, are you having a laugh. I’m not trying to give the impression that I’m a traditional or millennium man, just somewhere in between. When I over heard my misses talking about swishing my ears pricked up as I thought it was some sex fetish event that we’d be attending. I will hold my hands up my naivety, but I had never heard it before. It led me to think maybe I spend too much time working and possibly not enough time socialising. Anyway, as her conversation developed I began to come to terms with the fact that my knowledge of ladies fashion, clothes recycling and soicial engagement may have been a little more removed than I previously thought.

Shoes, hats, bags, skirts, dresses, cardigans and more items of clothing, bring them all to Swap in the City UK clothes swap event. http://swapinthecityuk.co.uk/

Prior to the swishing, pamper treatments will be taking place. Now this is right up my street, because I’m at the age where I have to trim the hairs from my nostrils and wax my ears. So maybe I’ll attend for that reason alone.

Now this swishing – clothes swapping ain’t no bring and buy sale, more like a organised opportunity to socialise, mingle, network, get pampered and have a sip and nibble on some light refreshments. Ladies arrive and have their items checked in. Refreshments, treatments and competitions then follow. Unfortunately, no egg and spoon races to play.

So my misses has been talking about the energy she has had all day, and re-visiting her experience from attending a previous swishing event. She’s been barking on about getting into her zone, and looking selectively through her wardrobe for clothes to swap. She doesn’t really want to give all her clothes to charity, and has been looking at alternative ways of recycling, exchanging or swapping new or unused items of clothing. It’s been a case of not always giving the clothes to a family member or a friend. Queue Swap in the City UK.

The feeling prior to going to a swishing event  my misses tells me is similar to the excitement she use to get when younger on birthday or at Christmas time, when people really did give a thought to the gifts they would get you on these occasions. I chuckled at her description, but it allowed me to capture the scene at the event ” it’s like going shopping but not having to take your card or cash out to buy anything”.

My problem is that the footballs been rained off, and I’m at home on a Saturday listening to her talk, however her excitement and anticipation to the build up to Swap in the City UK appears genuine, so I listen. Talksport radio is on, and my time line on Twitter is keeping me up to date with the premiership results. Suarez has just scored a screamer and I will not miss the goal later for nothing.

Fast forward the evening.

Match of the day is about to start and my misses re-appears to share space. I’ve been home all day. All day. And she chooses this time to bring out more clothes for the swap, and try on some unwanted clothing and ask for my opinion. “Beautiful hon”, I reply. Match of the day is starting. Liverpool first to play on the box. Suarez goal. I’m thinking, why stand right in the middle of our big arse TV? to block my view, why not to the side? alittle to the left or right maybe. She doesn’t move and explains to me that her journey home from work last night was only comforted by the thoughts of Swap in the City UK. She felt that no one should be subjected to having to stand on a packed train inhaling the stench from a man’s armpit next to them, and result in the odour somehow ending up on their tongue. I raised my eyebrow to think what relevance this had to do with anything, and realised that it was her call to say she wanted my attention.

So my thoughts at this stage are …… as a male the likelihood of me finding anything at the next event will be remote, as it is currently geared towards females. However, the misses may have a fetish and want me to dress up in ladies attire to spice up the evening. NOT. So hon, if you ever get around to reading this, the support for swishing will continue, but the dressing up ….. well just not in ladies clothing anyway.

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